SUGAR SHOCK! Blog

Letter to Anne Lamott: Tempted by Sweets or Quickie Carbs? Read Me First! 10 Ways to Continue to Savor Sugar Freedom!

 For the past six weeks, I’ve had the pleasure of doing text-coaching with talented writer Anne Lamott, who I had the pleasure of meeting after the fabulous talk she gave at her church to launch her new, fabulous book, Help, Thanks, Wow. Anyhow, as a Sugar Freedom Coach, I don’t want to leave Annie in the lurch with no encouragement while I’m away for 10 days on a transformational retreat. So I came up with a way to support Annie while I’m gone. I wrote her this letter, which she now has given me permission to share with you.

Dear Annie,

I really want to be there for you while I’m off healing and taking back my power. (As you know, I desperately need to go on this transformational retreat until Feb. 10 to recover from My Bittersweet Last Year with Mom, which, as I shared with you and on my Sugar Shock Blog (www.SugarShockBlog.com) and my new Bittersweet Blog, www.BittersweetYear.com), was utterly grueling, draining and heartbreaking.)

To support and stand by you so you can continue to Savor Sugar Freedom, I’ve decided to create a 10 Ways to Continue to Savor Sugar Freedom Checklist for you. I invite you to bring this along with you wherever you go so you can whip it out if temptation strikes.

Whenever health-harming, tempting sugary non-foods—what I call Sweet Baddies (certainly not “goodies” or “treats”)—seem to tauntingly plead, “Eat me, eat me,” I urge you take the following steps first.

1)   Follow Your Own Smart Advice. Holler Help! 

Put a Sugar Freedom spin on the wisdom you eloquently impart in your book, Help, Thanks, Wow. When you can’t quit obsessing about a gorgeous cupcake, a chocolate-chip cookie or whatever sugary non-food or Sweet Baddie you want right away, lean on God, divine intelligence, or, as you playfully put it, “Howard.”

Just imagine: You’re so close to shoving a Sweet Baddie in your mouth. Your favorite dangerous, culprit-carb non-foods—which, for you and many others, are sure-fire gateways to glutting, depression and Sugar Slavery—keep taunting and tormenting you. They seem to be  whispering, “It’s time to stop feeling deprived. Go ahead, put one in your mouth. Now.”

Annie, when temptation like this strikes, it’s time to prove those Sweet Baddies wrong!  Let Providence whisk you to Savory Sugar Freedom instead.

You might want to pray like this. “Dear God, I could use a hand. Please help me. I feel out of control when it comes to [name of Sweet Baddie you want]. I know that I shouldn’t have them, but I want them anyhow. Please, Divine Wisdom, show me exactly what steps to take so I have the strength to turn away from [type of Sugary Temptation]. And, God, please help me to remember that this [cake, cookie, etc.] is so very bad for me and can lead to overeating, self-loathing and disease.”

2)    Eating Sugar Makes You Unspiritual.

Over-indulging in sweets, as you’ve been discovering, makes you so much less than you can and want to be. Specifically, sugary non-foods can take you down a path to non-spirituality. They can rob you of your sublime, divine-loving essence. People who haven’t gone sugar-free (or close to it) don’t understand this subtle connection, but you “get it.” So please ask yourself before you cave in to sweets or culprit carbs, “Is a piece or bag of [name of Temptation] worth straying off the spiritual path?”

3)    Remember How Clear-Headed & Better You Are When You Limit the Sugar.

As you know, eating lots of sugary non-foods can muddy up your thinking, mess with your moods and strip you of your power. When a sugary non-food is bugging you, instead delight in how wonderful you feel when you stick to such wholesome foods as lentils, organic veggies, organic meats, and healthy fats. Now ask yourself, “Is this [Name of Sugary Temptation] really worth losing my clarity, energy, and peace of mind? Wouldn’t I rather be my best self?”

4)    Revel in Your Former Success & Then Challenge Yourself to Recreate it.

Think of the accomplishment of which you’re the most proud. Is it that you’ve stayed away from alcohol for so long and enjoyed sweet sobriety? Perhaps you’re delighted that you made your last book deadline? Now, stretch yourself. Realize that, “Hey, if I did [quit alcohol or whatever else you picked], then I can surely stay away from sugar, even if it is addictive.” Annie, you can even have fun and quip, “I continue to choose Savor Sugar Freedom. It’s a piece of cake!” (Pardon the pun!)

5)    Do Sugar Procrastination. (Delay).

As we’ve discussed, one very effective sugar-avoidance approach is to procrastinate on purpose. By that, I mean delay eating your temptation of the moment. To refresh your memory about this simple tactic, just read this blog post I wrote about the power of delaying.  http://www.sugarshockblog.com/2011/05/delay-away-your-sugar-cravings-.html

6)    Write Away Your Cravings and Have Fun With It.

One of the most powerful ways to kick your pesky cravings is to get in touch with the feelings behind them. Journaling is highly effective, research shows. So take 10 minutes before you put anything sugary in your mouth and write about it. And be playful, too. You, of all people, could write the most amusing, entertaining, enlightening Sugar Danger poems or musings. When I return, I’ll look forward to reading what you write. (Even if you weren’t a writer, I’d recommend this. Jotting down your thoughts and feelings is that powerful. Anyone—writer or not—can do it.) Also, read this article I wrote about cravings. http://www.healyourlife.com/author-connie-bennett/2013/01/wisdom/inspiration/craving-sugar-and-carbs

7)    Power up with PFF.

As you know, one sure-fire way to become vulnerable to sweets is to skip eating something healthy when you get up in the morning. Temptation also has a way of getting to you when you don’t re-fuel your body at least three times a day with ample protein, fiber, and fat. So make sure to fill up regularly on those quality foods.

8)   Ask Yourself the 5 W’s & 1 H.

Of course, knowledge is power. So whenever you’re tempted, ask yourself the questions every journalist needs to answer when writing a story. You want to discover the Who, What, When, Where, Why and How. In doing your sugar discovery or Sugary Soul Searching, ask yourself, “Who do I become when I indulge? What is it I really want? When do my sugar cravings get most powerful? Where could I go instead (someplace more nurturing and fulfilling)? Why, oh why, do I want those sugary non-foods? And how would eating those Sweet Baddies make me feel?  (Read more about this process in pages 65 to 66 of my book, Beyond Sugar Shock, which I gave you.)

9)    Scare Yourself with the Sour News. Then, Create Your Sugar-is-My-Foe List.

Whenever you really, really, really want something sugary, I urge you to get the sour news first. Just take out Beyond Sugar Shock, and read Chapter 3, which tells you about “The Big Preventable Killers: Your Sweet Tooth Can Kill You.” Then write down 5 Reasons Why Sugar is My Foe. In other words, what are the worst things that can happen to you when you eat the sugary stuff. Then rewrite your reasons to avoid Sweet Baddies on a 3-by-5 index card and carry it with you wherever you go so you’ll remember why it’s important to overcome those cravings.

10)    Text Me & Then Text Yourself, Too.

Finally, since I can’t read your texts for the next 10 days, text me anyhow when you’re having a challenging time. Just pretend that I’m there on the other end of the phone and that I’ll be replying shortly. Then, until I return on Feb. 10 or 11, reply to yourself with what you think I’d say. Now, if you’re unclear as to how I’d text-coach you, pull out your copy of Beyond Sugar Shock,  shut your eyes and open a page. That’s what I’d say to you. In other words, your inner wisdom will guide you to the exact page with the exact information you need. (By the way, I do this technique a lot with your book, Help, Thanks, Wow and with books by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Louise Hay, and Dr. Ken Druck. Just trust that you’ll be guided to get the advice or guidance you need. It has worked every time for me.)

11)    Share your challenges on my Facebook page.

If or when something sweet tempts you, just rely on people who understand how dangerous it is to go down that sugary path. Post something on Facebook—on both my (www.Facebook.com/SmartHabitsFans) and your (www.Facebook.com/AnneLamott) fan pages. I’ll bet you that someone who “gets it” will write to you with just the wisdom you’re seeking. Make sure to dash me an email each time (marked high importance) so that I can read these inspirational words upon my return and thank the person.

Annie, I know that you can continue to Savor Sugar Freedom.

Remember, you have the power to say no. Remind yourself that eating sugar and other quickie carbs is a choice. It’s yours to make—or not make. What you put in your mouth helps create your future and the way you handle it. Why not choose the path of joy, inner peace, and health?

I’ll be with you in spirit and rooting for you to continue to Savor Sugar Freedom. Talk to you soon.

 

Warmly,

 

 

Connie Bennett

 

P.S. Since you like to share your musings and inspirational thoughts on Facebook, feel free to post this entire letter from me to you. It would be my honor to help your sugar-addicted fans. And feel free to take tidbits and tweet them, too.

P.P.S. Thanks again for your very kind words and letting me share them here.

 

“I was so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired beyond my sugar. With the help of Beyond Sugar Shock and Connie’s smart, caring text-coaching, I am beginning my 6^th week of being off sugar. To me, that is a miracle. I feel so much happier and healthier, more energetic and free.” …I most like to know you are on the other end of the phone and get my texts, help me through temptations, remind me what works and why I am trying a new way of life.” --Anne Lamott

 

Embrace Cravings as Your Allies, Not Enemies

I'm away on a transformational retreat. In my absence, I invite you to get some help with your cravings.

Are you hit by cravings in the morning, afternoon, and night, as well as in between?

And do you detest when your cravings for sugar, carbs or something rich get the best of you? Especially when the number on the scale keeps getting higher?

What if you changed your attitude about your cravings?

What if instead of dreading them, you welcomed them and even invited them in?

Just think how much easier your relationship with food would be if you embraced your cravings as your allies!

You want to welcome your cravings, because they're giving you valuable messages. And once you decode your cravings, you'll be able to give yourself what you really want.

Confused? Discover 20 messages your cravings may be telling you. 

Just read my article on Heal Your Life, "Craving Sugar and Carbs? Make them your allies intead!"

 

Trauma Lingers for Some Caregivers

Oh goodness. A few tears came to my eyes again given My Bittersweet Last Year with Mom.

Although my experience was different, this article, For Some Caregivers, the Trauma Lingers, in the New York Times New Old Age section really hits home.

Special thanks to Judith Graham for writing it and thanks to Stephanie Abarbanel, my friend and editor (for Beyond Sugar Shock) for sending it to me.

via bittersweetyear.com

New Bittersweet Year Design

Here's the new design for my new blog, Bittersweet Year, on which I'll be posting parts of my new book.

Thanks to the talented Hillary Carlip for this great design.

What do you think of it?

Connie's Confession: Taking Back My Power & Healing My Broken Heart

After a loss—whether it’s the death of someone you love or the end of a relationship—have you ever felt suspended in limbo? Plus, you just couldn’t find your mojo again?

Well, I feel ready to come clean with you. Ever since my dear mother passed away recently, I’ve been a grieving, heartbroken, stymied health coach and wellness author in crisis. In short, I’ve been feeling “off.”

While I’m working to get closer to being “on” so I can serve you again, I’m now ready to make a confession.

My mom’s death and my subsequent discoveries about things she did or didn’t do have hit me hard. Recently, I’ve been crying at least once or twice a week—like the time I found NO mention in her datebook that I was moving nearly 3,000 miles to be with her in her dying days. Ouch!

Plus, Cheerful Connie isn’t around as much anymore. Not only that, but I’m not sure where I should live now.

A little bit of history is in order. Slightly more than a year ago, I gave up my apartment in New York City (where I’d been for a decade) and moved back to California to be of service to my dear dying mother, who had stage 4 lung cancer. (But she decided to let the disease progress at its own course -- she choose to forgeo chemotherapy and meds for fear of horrible side effects.)

Now that I’ve lost my mother, I’m all alone in another part of the country, without her and without my friends in the Big Apple.

Loss, I’m discovering, can wallop you. It can toss you into turmoil and turbulence. And if your dear mommy died, that can send you whirling.

I’ve also been in a quandary. I’m a health coach, life coach, and bestselling author (Sugar Shock and Beyond Sugar Shock). How can I share with you my intense pain and sad truth that I’m just not back to being my best me?

And why is Cheerful Connie taking so long to return? While she’s starting to make a comeback, she’s still often frustratingly elusive.

Previously, I didn’t tell you the full truth about how Mom behaved badly in her last year, how horribly she treated me at times, and how My Last Year with My Mother was an utterly grueling ordeal.

The reason I told you a half-truth before is because I was simply too embarrassed, hurt, and heartbroken.

What's more, I want to honor, respect, and put the best foot forward on behalf of my Mom, whom I dearly loved, admired, and respected.

I really, really adored my mother, and I was very, very reluctant to share her weaknesses.

Before, in this blog post, I offered only glowing praise for my mother and how she taught me—and you—how to leave Planet Earth with spunk and style.

Yes, fall 2011 to fall 2012 was a charming, wonderful, poignant time, during which my beloved mother shared valuable lessons with me. She blazed (often with me along) through her impressive culinary and cultural bucket list, and we had many pleasant moments together.

In other words, My Last Year with Mom was full of sweetness. But it was glutted with bitterness as well. That’s why I now call this time My Bittersweet Last Year with Mom.

Now, I feel ready to tell you a little about the bitter part.

What made My Last Year with Mom especially gut-wrenching and tear-jerking for me was that the calm, coherent, often-poised mother I loved and knew vanished.

Instead, as her brain and body were invaded by cancerous cells, she became Crabby Cancer Mom, someone who could be accusatory, angry, argumentative, confrontational, controlling, cruel, demanding, difficult, distrustful, hostile, insulting, irrational, manipulative, mean, and vindictive.

For reasons I still don’t quite understand—other than that dying people take it out on people they love the most—Crabby Cancer Mom displayed a particular vengeance and viciousness towards me. That was especially tough to take since I’d given up my apartment in New York City and relocated for her. (I’m now living in a cramped but peaceful place I hurriedly took after Mom angrily threw me out of her home for the umpteenth time.)

By the way, the reason it was urgent and imperative that I relocate for Mom is that I was her closest living relative. If I hadn't moved, my poor mother would had no family members there for her often in her dying days. (My sister and mom had been estranged for more than a decade.)

So to summarize, during My Bittersweet Last Year with My Mother, I was a victim of Mom Abuse.

Bear in mind that my mother’s mistreatment of me was unintentional. It was the cancer’s fault.

Real Mom was in the dark. She didn’t know what she was doing. At least I don’t think she did.

But although I knew Crabby Cancer Mom was NOT my Real Mom, I still often felt confused, frustrated, exasperated, aghast, helpless, devastated, sad, downright shattered, and absolutely frightened to be myself.

Of course, experts recommend that you set limits in your relationships.

“Speak up for yourself,” they suggest. That’s good advice, but when you’ve made a strong commitment to yourself to be there no matter what for your angry, dying mother, you can’t set boundaries, especially if—as her disease infects her thoughts and behavior—she treats you abysmally. (In fact, she treated me so horribly that some people who witnessed her putdowns were shocked that I stood by her.)

Anyhow, I’ve been reeling in aftershock for the past four months. And I’ve had enough.

It’s time to take back my power. I’m determined.

To get to a centered place where I can serve you again, I’ve now mapped out my comeback.

1. I’m taking time out every day to nurture myself, including going to the gym, meditating, attending a grief support group, listening to James Twyman’s The Moses Code, or reading inspirational passages from authors such as Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Dr. Ken Druck and Anne Lamott. I’m also back in therapy, and I work with a coach from time to time.
2. I’m cleaning up my food. In particular, I’m limiting or steering clear of quickie carbs such as sweet potato chips, corn nuts, and popcorn. (More about that later, but suffice it to say that I haven’t been perfect since Mom died. I did, however, stay away from the sugar so for those of you wondering, I am still sugar-free.)
3. I’m healing and getting perspective, as well as honoring my mother, by writing a new book, which I’m tentatively calling, Bittersweet: How to Stand by Your Difficult, Dying Loved One and Learn from My Rollercoaster Last Year with Mom. (The book title may change. I also started the Bittersweet Year Blog, where I'll be blogging parts of my next book. A beautiful design from the talented Hillary Carlip is going up shortly.)
4. At long last, I’m going on a 10-day transformational retreat from Jan. 30 to Feb. 10 to get my act together, so to speak. Please note that I’m NOT taking a vacation. Rather, I’m going to dig very deep so that I can become a better me and be better able to serve you.
5. I’m going on e-mail and phone silence. Admittedly, this is a requirement for the program I’m attending, but I would do it anyhow. 
6. I’m turning many times a day to the endearing, inspirational best-selling author Louise Hay for help. For instance, I’m listening over and over again to the forgiveness track on Louise’s CD of I Can Do It. “Forgiveness of yourself, and of others, will release you from the prison of the past,” she knowingly says. Later, she charmingly puts it, to “it’s time to move with joy into the now.”
7. I’m honoring myself and my need for healing time by allowing myself to postpone presenting my Sugar Freedom Now Virtual Retreat and delay taking on new coaching clients.

Of course, you want me to be there fully so right now, I’m dedicating myself to “refueling,” regrouping, rediscovering my true calling, uncovering my strengths, finding inner peace, and reaching a higher plane. 

I invite you to join me. Go on your own voyage of healing and rebirth so you can Take Back Your Power.

Even if you aren’t grieving the loss of a loved one, you can become dedicated to rediscovering your own beauty and wisdom. 

Please let me know what transformational methods work best for you to Take Back Your Power. I’m eager to explore tactics that I may be overlooking.

By the way, please stay tuned.

On April 15, I will be celebrating 15 years sugar-free (mostly). Yikes!

In honor of that landmark, I’ll be giving lots of radio and TV interviews about my most recent book, Beyond Sugar Shock, which came out while Mom was dying. (I’m so grateful that before Mom passed away, she saw and was very proud of me for my new book.)

I’m also planning a newly improved six-week Sugar Freedom Now Virtual Retreat. It begins March 6.

Thank you kindly for your patience during this challenging, but transformative time.

Special thanks to Jessica Urmanec for creating the above illustration.

Dr. Robert Lustig Appears on my Gab with the Gurus Show

Robert Lustig, M.D. -- whose video, Sugar: The Bitter Truth, went viral on YouTube -- will be a guest on my Gab with the Gurus Show on February 11 at 9 am.

Dr. Lustig is author of the exciting new book, Fat Chance: Beating the Odds Against Sugar, Processed Food, Obesity, and Disease.

The renowned Dr. Lustig has spent the past sixteen years treating childhood obesity and studying the effects of sugar on the central nervous system and metabolism.

He is the Director of the UCSF Weight Assessment for Teen and Child Health Program and also a member of the Obesity Task Force of the Endocrine Society.

Those of us into health and wellness and reducing sugar consumption are very grateful to Dr. Lustig for bringing much-needed attention to this important issue, as I revealed on revealed on my Sugar Shock Blog post in 2009 and my Huffington Post Blog. 

During this Gab with the Gurus Show, Dr. Lustig will:

• Debunk the much-cited notion about calories. He'll tell you that a calorie is not a calorie.
• Explain how chronic disease has skyrocketed in the past 30 years and tell you how the food industry has played a major role by pouring more and more sugar into their foods--which has disastrously altered our biochemistry and made our eating habits veer out of control.
• Give you ideas to readjust your key hormones to help you shed weight and regulate your hunger.
• Share societal strategies to improve the health of the next generation.

Please spread the word about this exciting Gab with the Gurus Show with Dr. Robert Lustig to your friends and fans.

I'm Blogging Parts of My New "Bittersweet" Book

As you may have already read on my Sugar Shock Blog, my dear mother recently passed away, and in Mom's Last Year, she taught me -- and all of us -- how to die with spirit and spunk. 

via bittersweetyear.com

Stay tuned for My Announcement: Blogging My New "Bittersweet" Book

As you may have already read here, my dear mother recently passed away, and in Mom's Last Year, she taught me -- and all of us -- how to die with spirit and spunk. 

The year is now over, and recently, while grieving and grateful, I thanked you here for your support during this difficult  time. 

After consulting yesterday with blog-to-book expert Nina Amir, author of How to Blog a Book, I decided to do something that I haven't done with my last two books, Sugar Shock and Beyond Sugar Shock.

I will start blogging parts of this new book here, on my Sugar Shock Blog. 

In addition, I'll be blogging at www.BittersweetYear.com. (The link will be active shortly; I just bought a bunch of new domains early this morning to tie into this subject. For instance, you'll also be able to get to my new blog from other URLs such as www.DifficultAndDying.com and www.HealFromGrief.com.   

While www.BitterSweetYear.com hints at my challenges, the main focus of my new blog and my upcoming book will be to give you tips on how to help your difficult, dying loved one. In addition, I'll be able to share bittersweet tales on the blog that can't make it into my new book. 

Stay tuned for more information about my new "Bittersweet" book.

Stay tuned for My Announcement: Blogging My New "Bittersweet" Book

As you may have already read here, my mother recently passed away, and in so doing taught me -- and all of us -- how to die with spirit and spunk. 

I also thanked you here for your support during this tragic time. 

I also disappeared for months at a time, giving you a hint here and there -- such as with this post -- about what I was going through.

Stay tuned for a major announcement about how I will be blogging my new "Bittersweet" book to help caregivers (part-time or full-time, as well as family members of loved ones, who are difficult and dying.

 

Thanks for Your Support When My Mom Passed Away

I just wanted to thank all of you wonderful people, who've been sending me kind emails and even cards, because my mother passed away recently. 

via www.sugarshockblog.com

A Look at Sugar Consumption over the Years

Special thanks to Online Nursing Programs for this special graphic, "Nursing Your Sweet Tooth," which illustrates our massive increase in sugar consumption over the years. 

By the way, the figure for today's total is too low -- the average American consumes more like 150 or even 170 pounds of sugar per year, according to my research -- but this chart still gives you an idea of the massive upswing on sugar consumption from the early 1800s.

Created by: www.OnlineNursingPrograms.com