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I don't believe it is doctor's place to tell female patients about their imminent widowhood and their marriage prospects, this doctor's reasons notwithstanding. Yes, obesity is bad, and yes the woman may need to loose weight for her health - although I read somewhere a relatively recent study that going on a diet in an advanced age has its risks too(not sure how old this woman is). Regardless, were the doctor to tell the woman that her weight as well as her lifestyle put her at risk of early death, that most of her health problems would resolve themselves and she'd feel much better if she were to follow a healthier diet and exercise more and give specific suggestions on how she should proceed, it would be a perfectly sound medical advice. (fad diets like Jenny Craig as this doctor suggested is hardly the best way to loose weight and keep it off - a friend of mine lost a lot of weight this way, only to gain it all back). But commenting on woman's (un)attractiveness and her chances of becoming a widow (maybe she loves her husband and is afraid to loose him; maybe his comments distressed her because she imagined loosing him) is both unprofessional and inappropriate. Even if it was said in private: the doctor is not a husband, father or a close friend to offer 'private' comments about one's attractiveness to opposite sex and especially the probability of outliving a husband. Yes, we talk to doctors of private matters, but only if these private matters are health-related; our marriage prospects and our statistical chances to outlive our loved ones don't belong in this category, IMHO. One's marriage prospects is also not something a doctor is qualified to comment on - he is not running a matchmaking business. This type of comments is just as likely to 'shock' someone to loose weight as to distress someone into eating more. I have to say also that his comment was just plain stupid: it talks about what might or might not happen for many years to come, it assumes that the woman even wants to look for another husband if her husband dies. As far as 'shock' quality goes, I don't see how this type of comment is particularly likely to get someone to loose weight. Maybe a young girl, but hardly a mature married woman. While I think the woman may be overly sensitive and went overboard - most people would've just left and found another doctor; maybe told her friends how this docror is rude - I do believe the doctor acted unprofessionally and inappropriately. - btw - I am fairly slim (5'2", 123) now, so it is not like I am justifying my inability to loose weight. I did loose about 17 pounds a couple of years ago, and even loosing this relatively small amount took a lot of work - both diet and exercise, so I can imagine how difficult it must be to loose more. It is not easy to loose weight and keep it off; it must be much more difficult for someone who's been this way for a long time or who has a lot of weight to loose.
Ceci, I've heard the line before that obese people know they're obese, but most obese people who _finally_ take real action have had some sort of memorable shock, and a little bit of blunt -- even rude -- advice might turn out to be that shock. A doctor's advice is not public rudeness, but rather private advice from a person whose responsibility is your health. If you know more about obesity than the doctor, great, educate him. You may find that what you "know" is wrong, however. Examples of recent "motivating moments" I've read about recently: One guy was told he would die within ten years by his doctor; an author was getting out of his car and his door blocked another driver, who shouted something to the effect of Hey fatso, get out of my way; a governor who wrote a recent diet book sat down in an antique collectable chair at his cabinet meeting and it callapsed into splinters. These people all "knew" they were obese. If you gave them a test and asked, Are you fat?, they would get the answer right. But they didn't actually do anything until that moment of shock.
Ever wonder why medical expenses are so damned high??? It's because obese, twinkie-eating idiots like this. Get some punk lawyer looking to make some money; couple it with some poor, sensitive little fat girl; find a doctor that that is good enough to lay the cards on the table and presto-chango....another moronic court case that wastes tax dollars and jacks up a doctor's mal-practice insurance that we all pay for. She ge's absolutely no sympathy from this kid. Lose the weight and shut up!!
I'm so sick and tired of FAT people ruining everything for everyone. You're obese... you're a bit heavy... you're FAT!!! it doesnt matter how you say it, the fact remains that 90% of obese americans are that way because of their lifestyle, both physically and mentally. They are lazy, uneducated, "victims". ENOUGH ALREADY, GET OFF YOUR A$$'S AND LOSE SOME WEIGHT, gosh I'm not even a doctor and I know that!! and Enough of the excuses too!
This woman needs to get her head out of her "poor me" victimized backside and see some reality. She obviously had some sort of "reason" for seeing a doctor in the first place. Even if it wasfor a "checkup" the doctor was giving it to her straight. Which is what she is paying him to do. I just had my second baby 4 months ago and am nostranger now to the word obese. Never have I been "skinny" but I have been at my healthiest at 150lbs at5'5". It is no ones fault but my own that I delivered both times at 241lbs. I have started the long road back to healthy and am a little embarassed that my body mass index crept up to 49% fat. Anything above 27% in a woman is obese. It was quite enlightening to look at it like that; in black and white numbers. This week I weighed myself in and am a not-so-svelt 202lbs but i should cross the 200 mark and that is progress. I ate it on and I'll eat it off. My doctors and midwives did not, nor did Dr. Bennett. This lady needs some therapy.
What amazes me is that everyone is so down on this woman when we have only heard Dr Bennett's version of the story. I am an obese person and have been treated with contempt by doctors who know less about obesity than I do. Obese people are despised in general. People kill themselves over it. Do you really think we are just not motivated? Maybe if people keep telling us how unattractive we are we will stop being so lazy and weak-willed.
What I was amazed at is that in light of the obesity epidemic that more doctors don't prompt more of their patients to lose weight. In fact, it was only after asking my doctor myself how I can do something about my weight that it I was given a name of a dietitian to help me, even though, at the time, I was obese according to the BMI charts (now after losing 30 lbs. I'm just overweight). Maybe it is because of incidents such as this one that doctors don't reach out themselves, even though obesity is a serious health problem.

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